he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
