wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
