she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she pinky promised me she was 18
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
