Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
