Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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