They should really pass out barf bags in church
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
