This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
