I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
