it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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