The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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