My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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