i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize