i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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