Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
