I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It's blow job season.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
