i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
