My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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