at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
