i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
