Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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