Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
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I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
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You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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