the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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