the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
