What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
