No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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