Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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