so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
