see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize