He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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