I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
