Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
