hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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