someone get that fucking seahorse.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
