then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
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Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
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Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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