The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
