I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
