This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
