I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
