by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
