Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
