Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
