im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
