I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
