She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
