you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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