I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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