I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You work out of a Hotel?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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