I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
When are your genitals available?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
