You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
