i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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