He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
