Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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