her vagine was all disorganized.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
