We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
