Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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