If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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