Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
