Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
