That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
