i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
