Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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