I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.