after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
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I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst