Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
