My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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