I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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