I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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