By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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